As the days go by and one seems to turn into another the anxiety continues, the physical sensations continue. It just never seems to end. I am living in a disturbed domestic situation which is both embarrassing and stifling. Some days I feel that I am better than what I have allowed to happen to me, other days I wonder if I have not done something along the way to deserve being treated so badly, lied to and left for stupid.
No matter what I try, whether it is occupational related, health related, life change related I am met with defeat. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but it seems to just keep sucking more of the life out of me. I am now penniless, and have been totally left broke by my other and his family. Most everything I had when he got here is either broken or useless. I have never been so destroyed by anyone. I am now looking at having to sell my home (which I bought and paid for years ago) before they take it from me.
I have been spending every waking moment trying to find a job I can do from home to try and save myself and my home but I do not seem to fit in anywhere. Perhaps homelessness is the next place I am headed and where I am supposed to be. I am open to suggestions if anyone has any.