Looking back over the last 50 some years with much meditation I have come to understand that what I am really good at is screwing up. I seem to be not just an expert, but a pro. I have without any exception always found myself at the back end of a shit truck with the valve wide open.

I have pondered for quite some time now what exactly I am doing here. Though no direct answer comes reflection shows me that I must be here to be the screw up, the fall guy, the person to blame, the person to take advantage of, to suck every dime out of before they leave person. The person who is so smart that I do not have a brain in my head (as my husband reminds me on a regular basis) and for that I am a stupid person (which he also points out on a regular basis).

As much as I hate to admit it..he is right. How kind of him to remind me that I married  him, then put me debt that I will never get out of, then strap me with every dime he spent…right under my nose.

My days of generosity are over. Eight of every ten people I have tried to help over the years have come back to screw me over. Why has it taken me so long to learn? Why do I keep sticking my neck out there to only to come face to face with a Winchester brother? Because I do not have a brain in my head……….

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