Anybody out there buy that old “happens for a reason”? Take today. I get up feeling like crap…dizzy, light headed, like I want to cry..again, like everyday. What to hell is the reason for that? I manage to get around and get morning chores done but only after pulling 200 pounds of stuff up there with me (rabbit food, 2 bales of pine shavings, 8 gallons of water, and 32 cans of cat food). The mud is over the toes on my boots. Every step is like pulling a toilet plunger off the floor. Why did I get these animals and why do I continue to care for these animals? It happens for a reason….
Coops need cleaning now that the weather is getting warmer. I gather my wheelbarrow and tools and round the corner to the largest coop and what do I find? Bees…a couple hundred bees swarming around the door. Really?? Where to hell did they come from…its February in the northeast. …And the reason for that would be????
I gather my things and go to the second largest coop. Wading through mud that doubles as slop. This is the hardest coop to clean because everything has to come out to a 5 gallon pale via a pulled hoe, then out to the wheelbarrow, then to the compost pile. When I got to the last load I turned and went to carry out the bucket..and WHAM, slammed the top of my head into a 2X4. I knew it was there…I have hit my head on it 4 times before, one time knocking me right out. Face first into chicken shit I went. You would think after that I could remember it was there. Everything happens for a reason…I can’t move the 2×4 because its part of the structure, so what pray tell was the universe trying to tell me with that one?
To top off the day an escapee chicken clawed the hell out of the side of my neck when I caught her to put her back in the coop.
I now sit here with a headache, I am exhausted, still dizzy and light headed, but these things must be done. I am seriously thinking the universe is giving me every reason to get rid of the animals so I can sit and stare out a window for the rest of my days. I certainly do not feel like doing anything else everyday, and it’s becoming more and more difficult to just get out of bed every morning.
If everything happens for a reason I guess I am in a place where someone needs to send me a message and give an explanation as to what exactly that reason is for making things so difficult for me. I think I am generally a good person. I have always tried to help anyone when ever I could. Why do things have to be so difficult? ….or does it?
And so it is.